Sunday, October 12, 2008;
5:59 AM
I have not been sleeping for days , i missing her right now , i can't figure out why she can sleep so soundly while i couldn't . Is it because she does not care much about me anymore or is it because i think too much? I can't figure it out , i need her to care for me right now , i need her love and everything she can to make me feel loved once again . Or is it when love is around , you took it for granted and now the retribution begans? I can't sleep, tommorrow intend to celebrate her birthday for her , but she told me not to , i mean what kind of boyfriend who does not want to celebrate her girlfriend birthday? I don't know if my heart can take this anymore , i felt like my heart is shreaded apart . Is it true she is busy for homework and she is stressed about schoolwork or is it she does not even wanna see me? I dont know i am in a dilema right now.
I hate myself for not cherishing things that are infront of me . I hate myself for being so self - centered thinking that i am in control of everything , but if your heart does not stays with me anymore , i will be letting you go . Dragging things might only hurt both of us further . I also got alot of problems and troubles , why is it that no one cares? School is starting for me soon , i hope to clarify everything with her before i starts my school . True love shall prevail , but i am seriously confuse right now .
Went out with my secondary school friends , one of them is also in a dilema , he had just been into NS for a month and her girlfriend is treating him like a pest now . I wondered if my girlfriend will do the same thing to me , i love her but is she showering me with care and love? I want to stand by your side and walk with you through the hardships but are you willing to bring me along and brave through all the problems ?
It has been too long , i can't take it anymore , the time you are spending with me is getting lesser and lesser , i know that i had done you wrong before but if you are trying to get back at me . You won , i seriously need your love and concern , i want to celebrate your birthday with you . I want to hold you tight and kiss your forehead telling you everything will be fine soon enough , but will you give me the chance to do so? Or will you shut me right up and listen to your mother that i am a nobody. Think about it baby who is the one who take care of you when you are sick? Who is the one who love you so much? Who is the one who can't live without your money? I don't care whether you are rich or poor , i don't care what sickness you have . I just want to be with you till the end of time and i hope that things won't end this way .
Remember the times where we talk about our future? Remember the times where we used to chat through out the night clearing out problems.
I just want to hold you close and let you know that I LOVE YOU . I just want to spend a little bit of time with you .
ESCAPE.
I have not been sleeping for days , i missing her right now , i can't figure out why she can sleep so soundly while i couldn't . Is it because she does not care much about me anymore or is it because i think too much? I can't figure it out , i need her to care for me right now , i need her love and everything she can to make me feel loved once again . Or is it when love is around , you took it for granted and now the retribution begans? I can't sleep, tommorrow intend to celebrate her birthday for her , but she told me not to , i mean what kind of boyfriend who does not want to celebrate her girlfriend birthday? I don't know if my heart can take this anymore , i felt like my heart is shreaded apart . Is it true she is busy for homework and she is stressed about schoolwork or is it she does not even wanna see me? I dont know i am in a dilema right now.